The Daily Shot, Ricochet

According to Tampa police, a woman, her husband, and their adult son were all recently attacked by their pet pitbull. What provoked the animal? The woman was trying to put a sweater on the dog.

Obviously the dog didn’t like being made a fool of and attacked the woman. Eventually cops were called and animal control used a tranquilizer gun and bean bags to stop the animal. (They should’ve taken their cue from Peter Robinson, who doesn’t put sweaters on his dogs, but merely knots them around their necks.)

It’s worth noting that despite their reputation, pit bulls aren’t especially dangerous. A 1994 study published in the journal Pediatrics looked at which dogs bite the most. German shepherds and chow chows are the worst; golden retrievers and poodles bite the least. (Pitbulls were not included, since the study took place in Denver, where they were banned.) The authors of the study pointed to some risk factors other than breed. Dogs bite more when they’re male, intact, under the age of five, more than 45 pounds, chained up outside, growl at visitors, and are in households with children under 10.

And in this case, we should point out that the dog was named Scarface and the son got hurt when he tried to stab the animal in the head. Maybe that tells you where this family was at in terms of pet ownership. (Also, did we mention the sweater?)

So what’s the moral of this story? Well, if you have a pitbull named Scarface, don’t try to put clothes on it. (Which you’d think would go without saying, but…) In fact, it may be best not to put any clothes on any dogs. You know, because they’re dogs.